Growth · lessons 9
Raising children in the faith
How to pass the faith to the next generation
He was watching
Mark never did a formal devotional with his 8-year-old son. He did not know how. But he prayed before meals, read the Bible on the couch, forgave his wife when they argued, and apologized when he was wrong. One day, he heard his son praying alone in his room: 'God, thank You for my dad. I want to be like him when I grow up.' Mark wept. He realized he did not need a perfect curriculum. His son was learning faith through life -- not through a lesson.
The Christian faith is passed from generation to generation -- or it is lost. Research shows that most young people who abandon the faith were not won over by atheist arguments -- they were lost in homes where faith was not lived out.
Raising children in the faith cannot be outsourced. Sunday school helps. Children's ministry helps. But the main agent of children's spiritual formation is the family. God delegated this mission to parents -- and no church program replaces what happens at home.
Moses reveals God's method: teaching integrated into life. It is not a weekly class -- it is conversation over breakfast, in the car, at bedtime. Faith is passed on in everyday moments, not just in scheduled ones.
But note the order: first, 'are to be on your hearts.' You cannot pass on what you do not have. Parents who want Christian children need to be, themselves, disciples of Christ. A fake faith does not fool a child for long.
This proverb is a principle, not a mechanical guarantee. Children have free will. But the principle is true: intentional investment in childhood lays foundations that last.
'On the way they should go' -- biblical education is intentional. Do you have spiritual goals for your children, or are you leaving it to chance? What kind of adult do you want them to become? That vision guides your decisions today.
Practices for spiritual formation in the family Show
For young children (0-6 years):
- Pray with them before bed and at meals
- Tell Bible stories in a simple and fun way
- Sing Christian songs together
- Show God in nature: 'Look at what God made!'
For older children (7-12 years):
- Short family devotional (5-10 min): read a passage, ask what they understood, pray together
- Answer their questions about God honestly
- Take them to serve (visiting those in need, small group, worship service)
- Let them see you reading the Bible and praying
For teenagers (13-17 years):
- Give space for questions -- faith that cannot survive questions is fragile
- Connect them to mentors beyond yourself (youth leaders, disciplers)
- Talk about difficult topics (sexuality, drugs, identity) before the world does
- Be vulnerable: share your struggles and how God sustains you
For all ages: your example speaks louder than your words. Live what you teach.
Paul gives two commands: do not exasperate and bring them up with instruction. Do not exasperate means: do not provoke them with hypocrisy, unfair expectations, comparisons, or authoritarianism. Children rebel when parents are inconsistent or oppressive.
Bringing them up in the training and instruction of the Lord is discipline with love -- not the absence of boundaries (that is negligence) nor excessive rigidity (that is legalism). It is the balance of grace and truth that Jesus models.
“Discipleship is not a program, it is a lifestyle. It is walking together, living together, weeping together, growing together.”
Stop and think
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1
If your children learned faith only from your example (without your words), what would they learn?
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2
Have you been intentional in your children's spiritual formation, or have you outsourced it to the church?
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3
If you do not have children: who are the 'next generations' you can invest in (nieces, nephews, church children, younger disciples)?
For this week
If you have children: implement a simple family devotional this week -- even if it is just 5 minutes before bed. Read a Bible story, ask a question, and pray. If you do not have children: identify a child or teenager you can invest in spiritually (a niece, nephew, godchild, or child from the small group). Pray for this generation and be available.
To close
“Father, thank You for the children You entrust to us. Forgive us where we have failed as parents and mentors. Give us wisdom to instruct, patience to repeat, and consistency to live what we teach. May the next generation know You -- not by tradition, but by personal experience. Protect our children. May they serve You all the days of their lives. In the name of Jesus, amen.”
For the discipler
Objective
Awaken in parents the responsibility of being the primary agent of their children's spiritual formation -- with simple, everyday practices, free from legalism and outsourcing.
Difficult questions
- My child grew up and walked away from God. Did I fail? Not necessarily. Children have free will. Keep praying, loving, and being an example. Many return after a period of drifting. Do not give up hope -- and do not carry guilt that is not yours.
- My spouse is not a Christian. How do I raise my children in the faith? With respect for your spouse and consistency on your part. Live your faith with integrity (1 Peter 3:1-2). Do not force it or create conflict -- but do not give up praying, reading the Bible, and taking the children to church.
- What age should I baptize my child? When they have the maturity for a personal decision of faith -- not just imitation of their parents. Every child is different. Talk with your pastor and watch for signs of genuine conviction.
- How do I deal with the world's pressure on my children? Do not isolate -- prepare. Children need biblical answers to the world's questions. Talk about difficult topics before the world presents its version. A culture of open dialogue is better than a culture of prohibition.
Practical tips
- Adapt the conversation: if the group has many singles or childless couples, broaden it to 'forming the next generation' -- Sunday school, youth mentoring, spiritual uncles and aunts.
- Ask: 'What did your parents do right in your spiritual formation? And what would they do differently?' This sparks practical reflection.
- Be careful with guilt: parents feel inadequate easily. Encourage them: 'Imperfect and present is better than perfect and absent.'
- Suggest practical resources: illustrated children's Bibles, family devotional (5 min), Christian songs in the car.
Extra material
- Leitura: Strong Parents, Strong Children -- Mark Batterson (summary)
- Video: Spiritual Formation of Children -- Pr. Ed Rene Kivitz